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Life Line

In class we discussed the many important factors that a person will go through starting with marriage, then going to trying to get pregnant, having children, becoming empty-nesters, becoming grandparents, retirement and experiencing the death of a spouse.
Some of those will be in opposite orders, but that is generally the order they go in. We start off with marriage because that is the factor that leads to complete companionship with another, moving out of the parents house and making a career and life for oneself. Becoming pregnant is a struggle for a lot of couples and can take a toll on marriage if one is not able to get pregnant, or there are disagreements on when it is appropriate to have children. Empty-nesters is the next one and that is just when the children move out for good and the husband and wife have to readjust their lives to only being with their spouse and in some cases, getting to know them all over again. Becoming grandparents is a great gift because they form a bond with the grandchild and they aren't the ones that need to discipline the child. Retirement can make it hard on marriage because the couple are not use to spending so much time together and they can become very bored and start getting "annoyed" with each other. 
The worst out of all of these is experiencing the death of a spouse. It is extremely hard on every couple, but the longer you are with your spouse, the harder it is to give them up and say goodbye because they are not use to being apart. It is hard for them to deal with, but the best option is to volunteer and do service for one another so they can feel needed and forget about their problems. There are some who remarry (more likely for the males to remarry than females) because they are looking for that companionship again.

Divorce and Remarriage

People think that divorce is no big deal, but what they are failing to realize is that divorce doesn't only take a negative effect on the people that are participating in it, but if there are children, they suffer the most.
Children suffer the most because they do not know how to adapt to their parents being apart and taking on different roles inside the family. If there are many children, usually the oldest son takes over the father's role since the father is no longer available for the job. There are many negative effects, mostly emotional that the children suffer from without that male role model and just knowing that the father is no longer a big part of their family makes things worse.
One of the hardest parts of divorce is the effects that come after with remarriage. For some people, getting remarried is a very joyful and good opportunity, but for others it is a hard adjustment. The reason it can be hard is a new family is trying to adjust to a new dad or mom and them taking over the role of their other parent. Also, if one of the children took over the absent parent's role (son takes over father's role or daughter taking over mothers role), then it is a hard adjustment for them to give up that role and go back to taking orders from a parent who hasn't been apart of their family before.
When remarriage occurs, it does take time for the children and spouse to adjust, but it must be done so in the right manner or else the marriage can fail.

Discipline and Consequences

We started off talking in class today about punishment and discipline and how important it is that you teach the correct form of discipline and how you should never punish or reward your child.
The way a parent can punish and reward the child would be an example of saying, "If you don't finish your dinner you cannot watch TV" and a type of reward you shouldn't use would be, "If you take 5 more bites, then you can have some candy." The reason you shouldn't use those is because your child will become dependent on those rewards and start to manipulate their parents so that they can get what they want from them.
The form of consequences we should use with our children (or future children) would be a natural consequence, which consists of: 
1. Polite requests
2. "I" message (i.e. I would like it if you would put away your toys so nobody steps on them to get hurt)
3. Stronger message
4. Logical consequences.
You do not want to rely on natural consequences when:
1. Too dangerous.
2. Too far in the future
3. Others are effected.
Parents need to find out what works best with their child, but they shouldn't use punishment as a result because there will be consequences to the child's actions, but they need to be reasonable. 

One for the Money

In class this week, we talked about money management and one thing I found very important was how to budget money now before you get married so when you end up getting married, you and your husband can have a budget already started to help you not get in over your head.
One lesson I learned that actually helped me realize the importance of budgeting that related very well to this class was from church one day. The second counselors wife talked to the relief society about how she budgets her money and the way that works great for her family is the income her husband makes (they are both working) goes to pay the bills and all the necessities (tithing, emergencies, food, gas, etc.), then the rest is split up between college funds, mission, savings and spending money. Then her income goes towards the less important needs like vacations and a little more spending money. The rest goes into more for missions and colleges. 
The importance of why she split up the money this way was because if for any reason she decided to be a stay at home mom, then the family wouldn't struggle with trying to make ends meet with the bills. The only thing they would really lose was their extra savings and the extra money for college, missions and emergencies. This would really help families out if they split up their income into these ways so that families are not so dependent on both incomes to get by.

Communication Errors

The main error that comes up marriage and in relationships is the inability to communicate properly. The main thing that couples want is to make their relationship work and they are willing to do anything to please each other, but sometimes, in their need to make the other happy, they don't communicate to the best of their abilities. There are some who only pretend to listen, those who only listen and never talk and those who consistently interrupt.
In order for any relationship to work out, they need a good form of communication where both members give their ideas, thoughts and advice and the other is listening. One of the best ways to improve on communication when there is a listening problem is to get rid of all distractions around so that the person will stay fully focused on you.

Conflict In Marriage

Most people think that conflict in marriage is a bad thing to have, but what people don't realize is how it can actually have a positive effect on marriage.
This week's reading and discussion we talked about how conflict can have a positive effect because it can bring all the issues the marriage was going through out in the open so the couple can talk about it and get it resolved, it clarifies issues, and the fight they may encounter will actually be a good fight and not have the couple resenting each other.
The reason most couples have conflicts is because there is usually a power struggle in the marriage that will actually make conflicts in the marriage worse unless they get resolved through good conflict and not ending in arguments.

Intimacy

The role of intimacy is very important in a marriage. Intimacy outside of marriage can be damaging on a relationship because that bond should only be formed with one person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with. It makes a big difference who you share that connection with.
All parents should talk to their teenager about the importance of intimacy so they don't just have it with any person they think they are "in love" with, but to wait until they are married so they know for sure the connection they will have with their spouse.
Before a couple gets married, they should talk about their expectations and the role that intimacy will play in their marriage. The conversation may seem awkward at first, but you will be creating a stronger bond with them if you both know each others needs.

New Baby

This week in class we discussed the effects that having children have on a marriage.
Babies are a blessing in so many ways, but it can bring hardships on the marriage for several different reasons like: not spending as much time together, always taking care of the baby, taking different responsibilities, etc. The best way couples can work through their issues is if they are communicating and working together to raise their child. 
It is actually fairly common for a couple to get divorced after their first or second child is born because they do not work together to fit the babies needs, but start growing apart because they feel they have two different responsibilities in the home.
When the father is not at work, he should take care of the children instead of the mother so that the father gets his bonding time with the children and the wife can have a break to get other things done that she needs too.

Cohabitation

Most couples in society are cohabiting. Cohabitation is referring to couples who are not married, but are living together. By living this way, the couple is actually damaging their relationship. There are several reasons why people choose to live together before marriage, but the main reason is to test out being married. What those couples don't understand is their relationship is more be likely to end up breaking up or in be divorce. The reason that is, is because when two people live together, they still have their own property that is separate from their significant other and that is the attitude they take into marriage. While those who don't live together first start their marriage by putting all property from both sides on the table and share everything and grow closer because of it.

Gender identity

This week we studied about how so person can be influenced on their sexual preferences. We found out that most of male issues comes from the lack of a good father influence. If a man has a distant or strained father, they are more likely to be hanging around more males than females to get the fulfillment they need, then they are fine to go out on dates with girls. There are some occasions when the men don't get that fulfillment until after they have sexual relations with members of the same sex.
It is important to know the details behind the identity people choose because there is always a reason that determines how the person will spend their life.

Diversity in Families

Diversity happens in several families all over the world. The main issue with diversity is that families are broken up or they are strained. The main one that I think is affecting the family most is being raised in a single-parent family. This is including, divorce, death, or a single-parent adopting. Single-parent families are becoming more common everyday and the reason it is such an issue is because a child needs both a mother and father to help raise and let them have different learning experiences. In some cases, raising a child by oneself isn't an option, and the parent does the very best they possibly can, but in other family situations, it is important that both parents are involved.

Theories

This week we learned about how important theories are in families. While discussing the systems theory, I found out that is talking about roles that certain members in the family takes and the relationships that are formed, strengthened, or separated. To better fully understand your family, it really does help to realize what sets your family apart from any other family, as well as rules that help your family grow and evolve.

There are people who think, "What can I get out of this?" while they are helping one another. We need to stop being in that frame of mind, but help others because that is the right thing to do and we will get many blessings from it.

Effects of divorce on children

Something I have learned this week during our class reading was how the effects of divorce will effect children. People have heard before the different effects divorce took on the family, but people don't really understand the effects divorce has on young children. When a couple gets a divorce it actually disrupts the developmental process and causes a negative effect on the child.

Divorce is a common occurrence in the world that we live in, but when hearing and talking about it, everyone looks past the negative effects it has on everyone around them and only focus on themselves. Spencer W. Kimball once said that divorce is spelled selfishness and that couldn't be more true. Everyone needs to stop focusing on your wants and needs, but start focusing on the families and making them work together.